Friday, January 19, 2007

Lunch Can Save Your Life in Iraq!

OK folks, so we’ve been extended in this place we like to call “Not home”. To remind us of that fact, we have Hajji remind us of it every day. But wait, IAW (in accordance with) the politically correct policies that are pushed down to us from places we call “higher”, I can no longer call Hajji, Hajji. I am to refer to them as LN, which stands for Local National. Now being a GI with years of experience and multiple combat tours under my belt, I participated in a “brainstorming” session with the soldiers and came up with a solution to this dilemma that is IAW the policy. I will now refer to Hajji as Lennie (LN), problem solved.

Anyway, Lennie has decided to make our lives more interesting as the tour goes on. By this, I am referring to celebratory fire. What is it? It is the common, yet exceedingly stupid, custom of pointing your AK-47 or whatever you have in hand and squeezing the trigger to celebrate. These celebrations include weddings, births, funerals, Hajj, Ramadan, death of a coalition soldier, death of a rival tribe member, the sun coming up, the night sky being dark, oxygen in the atmosphere, etc. I think you get the idea. They do it at a whim. So when I make references to “fireworks”, this includes celebratory fire with IEDs, or RPGs.

Where am I going with this? I’m not sure if they teach a class here covering the topic we like to call, “gravity”. See, the rounds (bullets) have to land somewhere. All of the sudden, a trip to the chow hall can either kill you or save your life. So now, we’re playing “Survival- the Home Edition” for keeps. I got a message from one of my buddies down south that came home to a surprise in his tin can “house”.

So you know how you were talking about that guy or girl who had the 7.62 round come through their room? Yeah....Holm and I were luckily at chow today when we came back and found splinters all over our floor. We look outside and there's a hole about the size of a fist coming into our can, and of course an entry hole on the inside as well above John's bed. I assumed it was indirect based on the size of the hole, but Evink and Sherwood said otherwise. So after some careful looking around, and finding no exit hole, we find a .50 cal round lying on the floor in the corner of my room! This place is unbelievable. If I was here, I probably would have been hit because I'm usually sitting by my computer which is the exact path the round took. What a way to go, that would be so gay. I have the round; I'll send you pics in a few days.

So far this hasn’t happened to me but, the tour’s not over. Like Bernie said, “What a way to go”.





3 Comments:

Blogger Mackenzie1975 said...

UGH. Can't wait till you guys are all home safe in your own living spaces!!
*Question: Does everyone there still receive mail?? I wonder sometimes as this lingers on if that sort of stuff tapers off!!

5:03 PM  
Blogger coconut commando said...

We still receive mail from several different sources. Family, support groups and (one of my personal favorites) schools. If you are interested in sending any support mail or dropping us a line, I can send you our "snail mail" address via the blog screening adress. Thank you for your support and kind words.

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Stone Cold said...

Us polar bears are big fans of lunch as well. Grrrrr...

9:28 AM  

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